If I attend , it might mean that I head down a basic science path. I’m not sure at what point I’d be able to mash tissue engineering into my career, if ever. Angiogenesis comes close, but isn’t really the same thing. Also, lots of friends here, but I’m worried that if I attend and become the ridiculous student I should have been as an undergrad, people will hold it against me. Social currency is money, of which I have and will have little.

If I attend , I can mash tissue engineering into my career immediately. There are at least three different laboratories I could rotate through that, at the very least, have collaborations which involve tissue engineering. I also have a few friends here, but they’re all in school and similarly busy. Social currency is intelligence, which is great.

If I attend , I’m not sure what I’d really be doing. Genetic Medicine research looks very interesting, but tissue engineering is not something that is done here. Few friends in the area. High cost of living without much justification. Social currency: connections.

Table below.

Two rejections have already been sent to me, and in better economic conditions, it would be pretty obvious what they meant. However, knowing that the applicant pool is much larger now, it’s not quite as clear.

The factors that could negatively impact my application are my undergraduate GPA, my lack of experience in biomedical engineering-specific research, the strength of my recommendation letters, and the strength of my own statement of purpose. The first and third items in that list are not things I can change, and the second would be difficult, though not impossible to improve.

This whole situation is frustrating, sure, but I’ve had a lot of support. Some people have been more helpful than others, however. Telling me that I’m definitely qualified and that I should apply again later is great; telling me that you don’t think I should go to graduate school now because it’ll be competitive, or that I won’t be as wealthy as quickly is not. At best, this line of thinking is a transparent cover and distraction for one’s own selfish interests.

Several issues have come up in the cell culture room lately that need to be addressed:

• Dirty hoods: The working surface inside of the hood must be sprayed down with 70% ethanol and wiped both *BEFORE* and *AFTER* use.
  • I have noticed that the working surface of one of the hoods has consistently been left dirty with dried media spots and the UV light turned on.  The UV light alone is not sufficient the decontaminate the hood.  Most recently, the surface of the hood actually looked even worse under normal fluorescent light.
  • Bleach left on the metal surfaces of the hood will lead to corrosion.  This is not a reversible process, and the parts are expensive to replace.  Clean spills immediately.
• Open hoods: The sash on the hoods need to be fully closed for our safety once the UV light has been turned on.
  • I want to preserve my vision and also not grow tumors.
• Vacuum traps/waste flasks: Bleach must be added to these flasks to neutralize any organisms within, *especially* before being emptied (down the drain with copious amounts of water).
• Unlabeled PBS & media bottles: If you open a bottle, you are responsible for it.  Unlabeled bottles are effectively a waste of valuable and expensive lab supplies.
  • I do not have confidence in any bottle that has been opened but was not labeled with someone’s initials and dated, and therefore will not use them.  I also cannot tell if anything has been added to the media or not, and again, will not use it.
• Empty serological pipet holders: It is everyone’s responsibility to refill these when the pipets are running low.
  • With the exception of the 1mL and 2mL pipets, an entire bag of pipets will fit in each compartment.  Please don’t just refill with only enough for you to continue working.
• Empty 70% ethanol spray bottles: It is also everyone’s responsibility to refill these.
  • Matt and I have made up many bottles of 70% ethanol, ready to be used to refill the spray bottles.  Please use them.

The cell culture room should be kept as clean and orderly as possible in order to minimize the risk of contamination, and to make cell culture work as fast and efficient as possible.  It is therefore the responsibility of every member of the lab who uses the culture rooms to maintain the space, regardless of rank and position in the lab.

- Daniel

Issues to consider:

• Turns out I’m not half bad at science
• I’ll most likely be on two papers within the next six months, which is good for grad school and med school; ok for industry, but having only a bachelor’s is a limiting factor there.  means nothing outside of science.
• I missed working in the lab when I wasn’t doing so Senior year or college
• I don’t even hide the fact I’m a huge science dork
• Graduate student stipends are ~$21,000/yr
• Lab environment and dynamic are highly variable, and people and personalities are important.  also important in an office, which just as limiting in social interaction.  social aspect totally different than working in medicine
• Could go for dual-degree, but that essentially doubles the time before I actually begin my career post-education.
• I’ll most likely work 10+ hours days and many “occasional” weekends
• I’d probably work 10+ hours a day and many “occasional” weekends anywhere I work
• Graduate school is way less expensive than medical school
• I’d most likely need at least one post-doc position after graduating in order to gain experience, so +2 or more years
• Medical residencies are similar, and could take longer
• If I want to stay in science, the only way to make it a decent career is to get a PhD
• The only ways I’m going to make a decent amount of money in science are to either run a lab or go into industry.
• Running a lab involves always chasing money, but I will be my own boss, sort of.
• Working in industry is more structured, but I surrender more independence.  Pay is higher for the same or less work.
• I have a bit of security in my current position, minimum one year, possibly up to two.
• Science: I get to play with expensive toys and generate images like this:


HCMV-infected HFF

• Outside of science, and maybe in industry: I can buy my own toys.

Conclusions:

1. Medical school is out, unless it’s part of a dual-degree medical scientist training program and I end up with both an MD and PhD.
2. If I stay in science, everything I’ve done for the last four-plus years is still working for me.  Cons: I will be broke for at least four years.  Risky after grad school.  Can lose funding and enter career limbo.  Need to start applying now.
3. If I leave science, my options may be limited?  Alternatives: product design consultancy (e.g. Ideo), management consulting (not familiar with the field).  Cons: my experience is lacking, at least from my perspective.  Can be laid off.  Should start applying now.

Med school has been ruled out in my mind largely because I haven’t been able to convince myself that it’s something that I want to do. I know what prerequisites I must fulfill or possess, and yet I have not been enthusiastic about completing them. However, the availability of time has always been an issue. That said, this fact invites at least two questions: first, I time as an still is an issue, and medical shool was an important goal, why did fulfilling the necessary requirements not take priority in my life? Second, clearly my life/work balance is already an issue I have demonstrated vey little skill in managing; what hope would I have in improving that skill should I become a doctor?

Graduate school is, in my mind, a better fit for me than medical school, and yet even there, I’m not sure it’s the right thing for me to do. Perhaps I’ve only had experience in a field of science that doesn’t captivate me the way I would need in order for me to really want to devote my lfe to its study. As far as I can tell, money will always be an issue as long as I am in science, and I think that it will only be with great luck that I could fix that problem within the spam of 10-15 years. In the meantime, it appears that I would be tied to research, unable to travel, build up personal wealth, or own property, though that last point would be possible only with great difficulty. To be honest, I haven’t totally excluded this path in life, but I am actively looking for other options.

If I do choose graduate shool, I am sure it would not be in the field of biology or any other field that would direct me into basic research. I enjoy science and I feel that I am never satisfied by the knowledge that I have and am constantly trying to expand upon it. My interest always has and continues to be te use of computers to solve a wide variety of problems. Every time I learn about some new way of using computers or interacting with them or using them to interact with the world, I get really excited and it instantly become my top priority to go out and find as much information as I can on the innovation and apply or expand upon it.

I suspect that computer science maybe the field I should consider most seriously, but I am concerned about barriers to entry, given that my undergraduate major was not in that field. I have been told that this shouldn’t matter, but it’s one thing for me to know and believe this. It’s another for a recruiter, someone in an HR department, or an admissions office to have the same opinion.

If I can figure out a way to transition from biology and engineering to computer science and engineering as design, even if all I can come up with is at best is a poor excuse for a life plan, I will be extremely excited and motivated to embark upon it.

As a side note I should also add that consulting is also a possibilty as far as future career plans go, but to be entirely honest, I don’t know anything about it. I haven’t been given any explanation as to what it is or what is invoved that leaves me satisfied. As such, I’m not entirely convinced that it’s a good fit for me.